Your ideal type…
Is bullshit. I haven’t seen anyone actually date, sleep with or marry anyone meeting 25% of their lists of ‘ideal traits for a partner’. This goes for both men and women.
What men really want is a chiobu who doesn’t talk too much. You can win them over with cooking or personality over a very long period of time only if a chiobu doesn’t show up and wink at them in the entire period, but it’s going to be significantly more efficient to learn how to do makeup well rather than try to appeal with other traits. The other things they talk about for the most part don’t matter, it’s just to make them look less shallow than they are. At the end of the day it’s not the brain that decides for most men, it’s the antenna.
What women really want is a man who can talk to make her feel like the only person that matters in the world, lying out his teeth if necessary. You can win some over with a wallet, but then what they love is the wallet and not you. I know someone who married a woman who loved his wallet, and she was so stingy on spending on him she fed him expired food bought during bulk sales to save on ingredient costs, and he ended up with liver cancer. When their daughter threw out the expired food, she had an argument with the mother because the daughter actually cared about the father, whereas the mother only cared about the money.
Herein also lies one of the most commonly repeated failure stories. A man has low self esteem and believes a chiobu he likes will never like him. He ‘settles’ for someone he finds less pretty, and ends up dumped because the woman can tell she’s being seen as second rate. He would have a higher probability of success going for the chiobu he feels is out of his league, because he honestly believes the chiobu is the pinnacle of his world, and would talk in that way – and there is no guarantee there isn’t something about him that he doesn’t care about, but she does. This is not a high probability, but it is not zero. Thinking of a woman as someone you ‘settle’ for is a zero rate unless you lie more naturally than you breathe.
So for men, just cut the crap. Go for someone you’re actually attracted to. Fail. Try again. Fail. Try again. You eventually succeed, or find out nobody likes you. If the former, good for you. If the latter, be thankful you were born in the age of the internet. Don’t ever think of settling, because the woman you’d ‘settle’ for deserves to be treated better than an NTUC housebrand on Wednesday Merdeka card sales, and you’ll waste both your time and hers if you did that.
And for women, stop waiting for men to approach you. A lot of men who you might like second guess themselves and won’t make the first move. If you only want to date men with the balls to speak up, you may never end up with any date at all, and even if you do, he might be the kind of pickup artist trained to lie more naturally than he breathes for a quickie before he dumps you. The key is commitment, none of them will ever agree to marriage before bed.
We continue to lie to each other and ourselves about what we care about as a nation, we will drop below Japan’s birth rate in less than a decade, because while their men are equally absent balls, their women aren’t half as deluded about how to appeal to others as people here are.