Uncle Can “Tiao Dang” Like God Possess Him, But Night Time Go Geylang Find Special Service!
You all got hear before those temple rituals where got people tiao dang (跳神) or go into trance, like the deity possess them one? My block here got one uncle super famous for this. Every temple event, he confirm appear wearing white shirt and red sash, eyes roll until only see white, then start shouting ancient Hokkien words nobody can understand. Wah, he can tiao dang until beat himself with wooden sword, walk barefoot over burning incense, spit out rice like some magic show – all the aunties and uncles watching damn impressed lah.
During Hungry Ghost Festival, he extra popular. He will sit on the special altar chair, then “boom” suddenly go into trance, shout say the gods come already, warn everyone cannot eat meat, cannot drink beer, must pray more. Aunties see until believe 120%, even give him ang bao, thinking he really got power to bless them. He always say must live pure life, no womanising, no gambling, must follow strict rules or the gods will punish.
But hor, at night, this same uncle got different schedule sia. Around 10pm, he disappear from block. One day, kopi tiam uncle follow him kaypoh a bit. Guess what? He saw him hop into cab, go straight Geylang lor! Order XO, makan satay, then go find those “special companions” at lorong side spa. Some nights, he even drive across causeway to JB find even cheaper “massages” with his kakis.
The best part? Next day, he still can come back act holy, scold people for eating char siew on temple day, or lecture youngsters smoking near the temple. He say, “Eh, you disrespectful ah! Gods watching you!” Wah, his own actions, gods not watching meh? Hypocrisy level really champion!
Now everyone in the block call him “Tiao Dang Playboy” – can become god’s messenger one second, but also king of Geylang the next. Aunties laugh behind his back but still act respectful in front, cos later he go tiao dang again, they scared he tell gods their secret 4D number no strike!