For context, I’m 37M, single, no kids, and working in IT. Over the past decade, I’ve worked my ass off, lived comfortably below my means, and managed to build up a decent amount of savings and investments. I don’t drive a sports car or flex designer brands—I just prefer having financial peace of mind.
My younger brother (34M) got married about four years ago to my sister-in-law (SIL). They have a 3-year-old son. Brother’s income is average, and SIL does part-time gig work. Nothing wrong with that, but their financial habits are questionable—always buying the latest gadgets, going on expensive overseas holidays every few months, and basically living paycheck to paycheck.
Fast forward to last weekend during our Sunday family dinner at my parents’ place. Out of nowhere, SIL brings up primary school plans for my nephew. Instead of looking at regular local MOE primary schools around their area, she announces that they want to enroll him in an international school.
I was quite surprised and asked, “Wah, international school not cheap leh. Easily $30k to $40k a year. Can manage meh?”
SIL looks straight at me with a straight face and says, “Actually, we were thinking you can help sponsor his tuition fees. You earn so much, no wife, no kids, no heavy commitment. Don’t be so giam siap lah. Family should help family, give your nephew a head start in life what.”
I was completely dumbfounded. I turned to my brother, expecting him to shut it down, but he just looked down at his phone and muttered, “Yeah bro, international school environment really better. If you can help out a bit, very grateful…”
Help out a bit? They are asking for a 6-year commitment running into six figures!
I told them firmly that it’s completely out of the question. If they want international school, they pay for it themselves. If they can’t afford it, MOE schools in Singapore are top-tier anyway.
SIL immediately blew up. She started calling me selfish, saying I’m hoarding my wealth and that I don’t care about my own blood. She even brought my parents into it. Now my mom is pulling the classic “he’s your brother, just see how much you can help so got peace in the family” line.
I ended up leaving dinner early. Since then, SIL has been posting passive-aggressive Instagram stories about “fake family members who love money more than people.”
AITA for drawing a hard line here? How do I shut this entitlement down once and for all without totally blowing up the family dynamics?