Sorry if this is a weird post. I don’t have any women in my life to discuss this with who wouldn’t judge me.
It’s like I turned 20 years old and a switch flipped in my brain. My whole life, I have hated babies. I refused to even hold them if they were offered to me. I disliked children even more. I have never had any sort of thought in my mind about having a child, and I knew if I did, I would be adopted as the concept of pregnancy horrified me.
Then my birthday rolled around. Ever since then, I have had this strong, overwhelming, and visceral desire to get pregnant. I logically know I cannot ever handle having a kid, and realistically, I don’t want one. But now I have to CONVINCE MYSELF of that fact.
I have to argue with myself about it. I love babies all of the sudden. I love looking at them, I love holding them, I love walking around the baby aisle. I have this DEEP NEED to get pregnant. And I have no idea why. I do NOT want to get pregnant. But I have a need and it’s freaking me out! I am still horrified by the concept of pregnancy but my head tries to convince me otherwise. I literally do not want a kid. But my body does.
Why is this happening to me? I want this feeling to go away. Some days it’s all I can think about.
Is it weird?