I (31 M) have been friends with M (27 F) for at least 6 years. She was introduced to our friend group through my best friend B (27 M) and they had a physical situationship that lasted a long time. They were never in a relationship they just had S times and B cheated on several girlfriends with M. M has also had several trysts with another friend of ours named E (30 M).
Logically, I know this is not someone I should be involved with on more than a friendly level because there’s so much history with my other friends.
But logic goes out the window when I think of this girl. She’s a kind, beautiful, wonderful person who would give you the shirt off her back if you really needed it.
When we first met, I tried to keep her at arms length because with B, there’s no telling who’d be around next week. But somehow M managed to knock down my barriers and became a friend I would be devastated to lose.
Over time, I left SG and came back and we’ve managed to stay friends and spent a lot of time together. She loves me and I love her. For her, it’s just as friends and for me it has somehow morphed into something else. It’s come to a point where the way she looks at me makes me melt. And I’m almost certain it’s not on purpose. I’m really struggling with my feelings on this one and last night I reached my limit.
I had a vivid dream about M and I woke up this morning torn about it. I’m my dream it felt right. But in my mind it felt dirty and wrong.
To have such thoughts about someone who’s been nothing but a friend to me. There has been no hint of reciprocation. I don’t want to be that creep “waiting around for my turn.” So guys, should I stepped back from being friends with M because I can’t control how I feel about her?
ETA: sorry for formatting I’m on mobile