(35M)(34F) Widowed and slept with sister-in-law
Throwaway for obvious reasons. Man has it been a horrible holiday. Long story short, my wife passed away 6 months ago leaving me and my two younger daughters (5 and 3). We’ve been working through our grief as a family. Every year we stay with my in-laws for Christmas through New Years and I did not want to break up the routine for my girls in a year that has been horrible.
We arrived at their place on Christmas Eve. My in-laws have a big enough space for us and my wife’s two younger sisters (34 and 30). I’ll refer to them as J and K respectively. J had been recently divorced and K is single so it was just the two of them. We all consoled each other and got through Christmas. My mother-in-law tried to fill the time with a lot of activities to keep us preoccupied. It mostly worked, daughters were heavily focused on their grandparents and I spent more time with J and K. Nothing really happened out of the ordinary other than J and I spending more time without our respective partners.
Flash forward to New Years and my in-laws suggested that they watch the kids and my sister-in-laws take me out in the city. we booked two hotel rooms. One for me and one for my two SILs to share. We did standard dinner and drinks before transitioning to a party. It was fun to get out, but I was really missing my wife’s absence. I didn’t really admit it to myself, but I was insanely lonely. I think J was feeling something similar after her divorce. We spent most of the party with each other. K went off into the crowd and we didn’t see her for the rest of the night.
J and I drank and danced. We talked and reminisced. She has a few similarities between my wife. Some facial features, but very similar laughs. I think the laugh is what got me. One thing led to another and we were making out on the dance floor. I wish from the bottom of my heart it ended there. I think loneliness and 6 months of not addressing any need got the better of me. We went upstairs and we slept together. I wished even the post-nut clarity hit me after the first time. It didn’t. We did it two more times before passing out. The morning was awkward. We ignored it like healthy adults.
From there we went back to my in-laws, I collected my girls and we went home. So here I am filled with regret. Regret that I did it, regret that I liked it, regret this could blow up my girls already blown up family, regret that I feel like I have betrayed my wife. So this isn’t exactly something I want to share with friends. Random internet strangers, what would you do? I’m in a bad headspace now, but my best guess is to call her in the morning and say it was a mistake and it can’t happen again. Great start to 2023 after a horrible 2022, guess it only gets better from here.