I have an older brother who very driven and a very high flyer (whom I will not disclose as he is quite high profile) due to his job commitments he is still single and has no time for romance and to start a family.
Hence with the wish of my late father, we agreed to help him conceive a child with my wife as a surrogate. Being very old school mentality, my wife agree out of fulfilling her filial piety duties.
There is no intercourse involved and the process was medical with the sperm injected to the egg like IVF. Soon a son is born and my older brother is grateful and elated.
But same as you, I was very upset and imbalance in my heart. I knew my wife did not cheat on me but I grew jealous when she talked to my brother, or when she helped to take care of “their” child.
We quarrelled alot initially but eventually agreed to be mature about it and not to talk about it.
Now the kids are older and I have a new jealousy and imbalance in my heart. Compared to my kids, “their” child was very bright and did exceptionally well academical and holistically.
I agree my older brother probably have better genes and has more resources to give his child the best as he earns a lot.
His child has good nannies, goes to the best school, best enrichment schools, music schools, clubs, etc and all the elite exposure which we cannot afford for our 2 kids.
And it doesn’t help when my older brother is occasionally boastful about his son’s achievements and thanked us!
It was petty but I cannot help to feel why my sacrifice is not worth it.
Pls help me feel better…