I was so in love with her. We had dated for four years before marriage and I thought I knew her inside and out.
But something changed in her after we were married.
She started to become demanding and controlling. She wanted everything her way and would get angry if I didn’t do things her way. She also started to make unreasonable requests, like wanting a $5,000 allowance a month.
I only make about $6,000 after CPF.
At first, I thought she was just going through a phase. But it kept getting worse. She would even nag me about household chores and make me feel guilty if I didn’t do them.
I tried to talk to her about her behaviour, but it only made her angry. She said that I was the one who was wrong and that she was the one who was right.
I tried to be understanding and patient with her, but it was getting harder and harder. She was becoming more and more demanding and I was starting to feel like I was walking on eggshells around her.
I started to wonder if maybe I had made a mistake in marrying her. Maybe I hadn’t known her as well as I thought I did.
But then I remembered all the good times we had together before we were married. I remembered all the laughter and the sweet moments we shared. I knew that the woman I loved was still in there somewhere, she was just buried under all the stress and expectations of marriage.
I decided that the only way we could get through this was to talk. I asked her to sit down and have a real conversation about our issues. I wanted to know why she was so unhappy and what I could do to make things better.
At first, she was resistant. She said that nothing was wrong and that I was being too sensitive. But eventually, she opened up and told me that she was feeling overwhelmed and underappreciated. She said that she felt like I didn’t value her and that she needed more recognition for all she did.
That’s when I realized that my wife had changed 180 degrees after marriage. She wasn’t the same person I had fallen in love with. She was someone different, someone, who needed to be taken care of and appreciated.
So I started to make more of an effort. I started to tell her how much I appreciated her and what she did for me. I started to give her compliments and show her that I valued her.
And slowly but surely, things started to get better. We started to have more conversations and I started to understand her better.
And then one day, she asked me for a $5,000 allowance a month.
At first I was shocked, but then I realized that this was her way of saying that she felt taken for granted. She was asking for something that was tangible, something she could use to show that I valued her.
So I agreed to give her the allowance that one time and she ended up spending it on branded crap.
This was when I realised that I hate married the wrong person. I am in the midst of a divorce and I do not know how to find any new love.
I simply given up.