This happened about a year ago. My husband and I were married for 6 years. We had some issues while married including frequent business trips, not doing any chores while home, expecting that I would cook something for every meal while also working full time. Just generally lacking empathy or affection
He died while away on a trip in a car accident. They gave us all of his belongings and it took me a few months just to want to have a look through them. To settle his property we needed to find out where he kept his money. All the accounts I knew didn’t have as much money as I thought we should. I looked through his work phone to see if there was any bank accounts I didn’t know about, just to realise they were full of pics with his ex. I didn’t want to look, but had to. His business trips were all to see her. There were messages from when we first met each other till today. Even during the wedding he messaged her saying he hoped it would be her next to him. My entire marriage was a sham.
I talked to the husband of the girl and showed him all of this, almost as an act of revenge.
A year later, I still go to therapy, attempted suicide once and can’t trust anyone, possibly ever.
Here are what netizens think:
- First, sorry to hear, I can’t imagine your pain. Second, remember, how other people view or treat you does not define who you are or your self worth. Don’t penalize yourself for other people’s fault. Hope you continue your therapy and believe in that one day, someone will recognize your worth and treat you with respect.
- I hope you learn better ways to process your emotions about all of this, and come to understand that you are not at fault. “Other people’s behaviors are a reflection of themselves.” What your husband did was a reflection of him, not you.
- I’ve gotten a lot of comfort and support from strangers in the past during some of the worst moments of my life. A good person doesn’t have to be somebody you know. I’ve had unbiased strangers help me put things into perspective or simply been kind enough to listen until I felt better. I’ve paid it forward and helped strangers get back on their emotional feet in the past, as well. And then we part ways.