Earlier this year I discovered my wife of 8 years having an emotional affair with a friend and coworker.
They’d been flirting, texting in secret late at night, sending suggestive photos, saying “I love you,” sharing physical affection at work, and on one occasion they kissed at a bar while I thought she was with girlfriends.
When I finally confronted my wife, her response was to apologize and swear to cut the inappropriate behavior out of their friendship.
But she seems to expect to keep the friendship. As I’ve said, it’s been months. We’ve had many arguments about this. I know she is continuing to talk to him against my wishes, even though she swears it is now all innocent.
I am, I think understandably, uncomfortable with welcoming this person–who I’ve never met–to keep spending time around my wife.
My concern is not about what led to this situation, whether we should stay together or get divorced, or whether or not what happened qualifies as “real cheating.” We’ve hashed those things out.
So, under what circumstances or conditions would you tolerate this relationship?
If I don’t want this person to associate with her, and assuming my wife and I both want to save the marriage, is there a compromise that can be struck, or should I stick to my guns?
Netizens’ comments
She’s prioritising her relationship with him over your relationship. She doesn’t seem very invested in saving your marriage at all. I wouldn’t tolerate this and would be phoning the divorce lawyer. She’s still cheating.