Wife go “spa day” every week, actually go see the married doctor who give her free “treatment”

Using my anoymous account will probably reveal who I am, and right now I’m still trying to process everything. Need some realistic advice on how to proceed under Singapore law, or if anyone has encountered similar situations before.

For context, my wife (32F) and I (34M) have been married for about four years. No kids yet, both of us working full-time. Everything seemed completely fine on the surface—usual BTO life, occasional meals at hawker center or moderate restaurants on weekends, planning for overseas trips, the standard Singaporean lifestyle.

About 7 to 8 months ago, she started going for weekly “wellness and facial spa” sessions every Saturday afternoon. She told me it was a package she bought at a clinic/medispa around the Orchard/Novena area. Said it was for “skin maintenance” and “stress relief,” costing around $200+ per session. At first, I didn’t think much of it. She earns her own salary, and if she wants to spend on self-care, why not? I even drove her there a few times and waited nearby at a café, or went to run my own errands before picking her up.

Recently, though, small red flags started popping up:

1. No bank statements or credit card charges: I noticed when we were reviewing our shared expense spreadsheet that there were zero recurring deductions for this “spa package.” When I asked, she claimed she paid a lump sum in cash upfront from her personal savings.
2. Timing became super suspicious: Saturdays turned into weekday evenings “after work.” She would come home late, smelling like expensive Aesop/Le Labo shower gel (not the brand she uses at home), claiming the spa provided shower facilities.
3. The “Doctor’s Advice”: She started mentioning advice from a specific doctor at the clinic—let’s call him Dr. K. Simple things like “Dr. K said my skin barrier is damaged” or “Dr. K recommended this supplement.”

Last weekend, the truth blew up in my face.

She left her iPad on the dining table, unlocked, while she was taking a shower. A WhatsApp notification popped up from a contact saved under a female name. But the message preview showed: “Missing you already babi, next week same time at the clinic consultation room after hours? My wife thinks I’m at the gym.”

I couldn’t control myself and opened the chat. It was full of explicit messages, photos, and references to their weekly “treatment sessions.” Turns out, Dr. K is an aesthetic doctor in his late 40s, married with two young children. He has been letting her into his private practice after official clinic hours or during long “consultation” blocks. In exchange for their affair, he has been giving her free high-end aesthetic procedures (Botox, fillers, skin boosters) worth thousands of dollars, completely off the books.

She didn’t pay a single cent for any “spa.” She was literally trading favors for free aesthetic treatments with a married GP/aesthetic doctor.

When I confronted her that same night, she initially tried to deny it, then broke down crying. She claimed it “just happened,” that Dr. K was manipulative, and that she felt insecure about aging. But she also admitted it’s been going on for over six months.

Right now, I am completely numb. I haven’t slept properly in days. I’m taking time off work to figure things out. I have a few specific questions for those who know about SG law or SMC (Singapore Medical Council) regulations:

1. Divorce & Evidence: I took clear screenshots and exported the WhatsApp chat history to my drive. Under SG family law, is this sufficient to file for divorce based on adultery? How does it affect the division of matrimonial assets (our 4-room BTO which is reaching MOP soon)?
2. SMC Complaint: Since he is a registered medical practitioner using his clinic premises and professional standing/treatments to conduct an extramarital affair (and effectively exchanging medical procedures/prescriptions off-the-books for personal reasons), is this considered professional misconduct? Can I file a formal complaint with the Singapore Medical Council?
3. Legal repercussions: If I report him to SMC or confront his wife, can he sue me for defamation or breach of privacy?

Appreciate any constructive advice from those who have gone through similar BTO/divorce nightmares or know the legal process here. Please don’t share this on Mothership or TikTok.