Posting this from my car in a multi-storey carpark. I haven’t slept properly in 4 days and I feel completely numb.
My wife (31F) and I (33M) have been married for 3 years. We’ve been trying for a baby for the last 1.5 years with no success. Went for fertility checks, sperm count was okay, but doctor said we just needed to keep trying.
Last year in October, my company sent me to Munich for an engineering detachment for 3 full weeks (Oct 5 to Oct 27). During that period, we barely had time to talk due to the time zone difference, but she was constantly “busy with late OT” at her marketing firm anyway.
When I got back in late October, things seemed normal. Then mid-December, she told me her period was late. She took a home test — positive. We were overjoyed. I literally cried in the bathroom thinking our miracle baby finally arrived.
Last week, we went for the 10-week ultrasound scan at a private KKH clinic.
The gynaecologist was doing the scan, measuring the crown-rump length, and said: “Okay, fetus development looks very healthy, measuring right around 10 weeks and 4 days. That puts the conception date somewhere around October 12th to October 15th.”
My heart literally stopped right there in the clinic room.
October 12th to 15th?? I was literally sitting in an office in Munich eating pretzel and drinking beer 9,000km away. I didn’t return to SG until Oct 27th.
I kept my mouth shut in front of the doctor. In the car on the way home, I asked her nicely: “Hey, the doctor said conception was around mid-October. But I was in Germany the whole time from Oct 5 to 27… how is that possible?”
She immediately panicked. Started stammering, saying gynaecologist ultrasound measurements are never accurate, can have 2-3 weeks margin of error, maybe she ovulated late, maybe sperm can survive inside the body for 2 weeks (??? logic went out the window).
I did some digging on her phone that night while she was asleep. Found archived WhatsApp chats with her company’s Managing Director (45M, married with 2 kids).
The chats were insane:
- “Thanks for staying back last night, love how comfortable we are at the hotel bar.” (Dated Oct 14)
- “Did you take the morning after pill?” -> Her reply: “Forgotten already, but don’t worry my husband coming back late Oct anyway so can just say it’s his.”
My entire world shattered into a million pieces reading that sentence. She literally calculated to trap me into raising another man’s child.
I took screenshots of everything and sent it to my own email. I haven’t confronted her with the chat proof yet because I’m consultating a divorce lawyer tomorrow morning.
I feel so disgusted, betrayed, and broken. We are living in a BTO that’s under both our names. How do I navigate this legally in Singapore? Can I sue the Director for adultery/alienation of affection? And how do I make sure my name is completely off the birth certificate when the baby is born? Any advice from brothers who went through high-conflict divorces would be greatly appreciated.