I’m leaving my husband because I found out that he has been making fun of me behind my back to his ex.
My husband (m45) and I (f36) met about 6 years ago. We have been married for 1 year. When we met I was very fit and athletic. I started gaining weight however after suffering 2 miscarriages and the loss of my mother to cancer. I was greatly affected and barely got out of bed if not to go to work.
I stopped exercising and instead started eating junk food. I gained 20kg in 2 years (2019-2020). Under this time my husband (then fiancé) was very supportive and loving. I felt guilty and tried to give him an out several times but instead he proposed and we got married last summer.
Since our marriage I have been feeling much better and it showed. I have lost around 20 pounds so far and I gained back my muscles and abs. He was so happy to see me feeling better.
On his computer however, it was totally a different story. He was talking, almost under our entire relationship to his ex wife about me.
His ex wife (f46), left him about 7-8 years ago for her colleague. The relationship didn’t work however and she tried to get back together with my husband. He has already met me but they stayed friends, mostly via chat, texting.
My husband was complaining about everything about me. My job, my mental health, my cooking but mostly about my weight. He was telling her how disgusting I was to him, how he even found it hard to share the same bed since I snored like a dog.
He sent her pictures of me while sleeping, sometimes in underwear with comments about my belly, double chin, “back boobs” etc. She found these pictures extremely amusing and she came up with the name “whale”. They both found it hilarious and now this is what they referred to me as.
They don’t flirt exactly or talk about being together or starting an affair but they do say that they miss each other and they reminisce about the time they were married.
She’s more flirtatious and he really enjoys it. Whatever he’s telling her isn’t what I have experienced with him. I don’t disgust him. He tells me that he loves me all the time. The way he touches and makes love to me is so great he must be a really good actor if he was in reality disgusted by me.
And he hates the few times we have to sleep apart. He’s lying and I don’t know why he’s doing it. He’s lying to one of us and I’m not sure if I want to know who he’s lying to and why. I decided to get out of this marriage and leave this behind me.
Right now I’m acting like everything is normal but I have started looking for a place to rent. I also started with birth control pills, in case something happens between us and I have talked to a lawyer to prepare the divorce and start the process once I’m gone.
What a waste of love he has been!