My wife has her own business she started when our daughter was born. She makes baby products, blankets, etc.
This started in 2017 and was originally supposed to be a small thing she did in her spare time.
Her mother got involved and it’s morphed into a monster. We are hugely in debt (I didn’t know how bad until recently) due to it. She has a card that is carrying as much debt in it as I make in a year!
So we had a big blow-up about that and I thought it was settled she would only work with what she has already. That didn’t hold true and I found out she has spent more on the business.
Now she keeps investing in stocks after listening to her friends hoping that it will “come back” but its gone, she used our child’s education fund which I have saved to make sure my daughter has university in the future and a bit extra.
Now on top of the financial issues, she also spends every spare minute I’m not at work or sleeping working on the business or on social media for it.
This leaves me to handle 90% of the household chores along with watching our daughter anytime I’m awake and not at work. I’ve expressed my concern about this several times, including indicating that it was making our marriage suffer. H
er retort is that because of my work and having to watch our daughter while I’m gone that she can’t get anything done for her business. I point out I’m only gone about 9 hours a day, so if I come home at 4pm and she works 4 that’s 8 pm.
This is pretty fair considering she does indeed get some work done during the day. Also I said if she wants to have 8 hours Saturday and Sunday I don’t mind. Instead of taking this reasonable schedule. She works until 11-1 at night EVERY DAY!
And then gets upset when I point out that she hasn’t spent time with our daughter or me, Hell most times I have to nag at her to take a shower etc because she begrudges the 20 minutes that that takes.
Also the stress her mom and the business puts on her makes her constantly have breakdowns or outbursts.
It came to a head when I went to pay our electric bill and I saw that our checking was down $200.00 more than it should have been and I was almost short of being able to pay the bill because she had bought something for her business.
She says I don’t support her in her endeavour either. This isn’t true, in the beginning, I always helped in any way I could. That’s how this whole routine started. Now I regret even that.
It’s not that she doesn’t make nice things, it just seems to not be working, it’s eating all her time and energy and quite honestly at this point I’m resentful.
I even offered that we should go to counseling but she refused. Now at this point I’ve kind of started talking to different people online and I feel guilty but not that guilty honestly.
Which scares me, I never ever wanted to be that guy. So I’m coming to the point of feeling like I have to set an ultimatum, but I have no idea if that will work and I just sit her wondering if anyone has a suggestion that can pull my marriage away from the cliff.
Because she has to either cut back or just close this business and focus on us as a family or it will collapse. (I’m not saying she can’t work or anything but our relationship and our daughter have to come first)