A little background. Kinda long sorry.
I kicked my husband out a few months ago due to him preferring alcohol and his family (cousins). He also stressed us out, constantly giving us orders and constantly asking why the house was never clean, instead of saying hello kid’s I missed you, how was your day?.
I suffer from anxiety, major depressive disorder, cptsd and fibromyalgia plus other chronic health-related issues. My 3 kids range in age 12-4. They also have health issues (we won that health lottery right?)
So the thing is, all week I have been feeling very ill and depressed, to the point where I stopped caring about anything. Today I had a bit of energy and cooked some lunch for the kid’s but, in doing so, my carpal tunnel decided to act upon both hands (I was supposed to have surgery years ago but had a newborn and it would have been a minimum of 6 months recovery) to the point I couldn’t even pick up a fork.
My ex-husband called to see if he could still visit the kid’s since it is a good weather. He is not allowed in my house due to his constant berating and criticism. He is not on the lease anymore either. I asked him what he would be doing since I know how he is. He said he would be upstairs with my daughter (he cares more about her, forgetting about the boys) cleaning her room, just like the day before. I told him her room was clean and he didn’t really have a reason to be upstairs (he likes to go snooping through my drawers and bedroom just to start a fight).
I proceeded to ask him if he could help me wash some dishes since my hands were in pain, my 12 yr old (autistic) can’t wash the dishes due to having problems in his finger’s. He snarkily said no, that since I had decided to kick him out, he had no obligation to help me and to figure it out on my own. I proceeded to extricate myself from the call and gave it to my son. I hate asking for help and he knew that. He knows that I only ask for help when extremely needed.
So my son, still on the phone asks me if his dad was allowed to visit. I said no. Mind you I was already crying from his response and still trying to shake off my depression.
I feel like an ass because I decided to save myself some mental/physical anguish that his visit would cost me over my kid’s seeing their father.
My kid’s say it was okay because they know how he is and have seen me try to hold it in. But still, I don’t think it’s fair to them. I forgot to add, he see’s them almost daily, 2 hour’s or less, outside of my house with the excuse he can’t have them at his house, because my daughter once accidentally made her baby cousin cry. He lives with his cousins.