I just got married less than a few months ago. I accidentally saw some screenshots of a influencer on my husband’s phone. I confronted him about it, and he apologised saying that it is habitual. I forgave him and reminded him that he is now married with a wife. For context, we’ve been together almost 10 years before we got married.
Few days passed, and things went back to normal. But my gut feeling says no. I know it’s bad but i snooped his iphone gallery. I know i’m looking for trouble at this point but I just needed confirmation. The photos are no longer in his gallery, but it’s under the Hidden folder. My heart sank when i saw thousands and thousands of not only screenshots of influencers, but also sneaky photos he took of his friends who are girls.
Some butt pics, cleavage. Some of these girls, he went out with without my knowledge after I wished him goodnight, after cross checking the dates of these outings with our past messages. There were also photos of absolute strangers at the gym, on the plane which he sneakily took. While these photos were not recent (like within this year), it all happened within the course of our relationship.
I am very disappointed, hurt and disgusted. Now i am in a dilemma. Do i confront him about it even though it’s mainly in the past (except for the recent ones he screenshotted) and risk our marriage? Because I snooped around without his permission. Or do I close one eye and pretend everything is okay, but knowing he could likely do it again? It’s definitely going to cause trust issues between us both for both scenarios – i can’t trust him anymore with his predatory behaviour, and he can’t trust me coz of my snooping.
How do i go forward?
Here are what netizens think:
- He’s going to be the father of your children. Think hard lady. There’s no going back. People like this won’t stop even when they’re caught. You should collect evidence to his criminal act and report him to the authorities.
- Considering that he has done it through the course of your relationship, it is likely been going on even before the relationship started. With that, it is a dark secret that he has never told anyone and for that, there was no one who could stop and help him. That’s why even till today, he is still doing it. At this point, one he is doing isn’t cheating, though very close but more on addiction that has grown to such a point. We have to take into account that he still likely loves you, but he is also torn against an addiction that no one knows hence could not be prevented and it became the result of what you see today.
- I think that if you want him to come clean and change his ways, he has to. Make this changes himself. But to have that courage, the person he loves and trust must not judge him so harshly. You can be disappointed and angry. But if that is all you are going to give and he knows it, then be sure he will clam back into his shell. The first step is to finding ways to get him to confess his dark secret of his own. Since it has already be establish between you two in regards to his behaviour, try to speak to him as to why he is addicted to it in the first place. When he provides his answer (if he does), there should be a mix of understand, anger, sadness and love.
- Eh girl, which guy not tiko? You born yesterday ah. Even if he don’t keep he also go internet see. Everyday see your sour vege face he also need something fresh to maintain his composure in the relationship