Empathetic liar?
Few months back, found out that hubby had been lying about his whereabouts after work. Claimed that he’s on the way home (via public transport) but actually he grabbed home so that he could work longer in office. While giving me the impression he’s on the way home.
When I first found out, I was so hurt he lied to me and confronted him. He claimed he did not want to upset me when he had to work late almost every other day. I usually end work on time so I’m always the one waiting on him at home so to speak. He promised he wouldn’t do it again and he will do whatever he can to earn back my trust.
Fast forward, I caught him in the same lie again. This time I was angry and confronted him, asked him in detail why he felt he had to lie about work. He was apologetic, gave me the same reason that he hates to upset me he has to work late.
He claimed that he is sensitive to other people’s feelings and he feels stressed if he knows he has to upset people (he’s a people pleaser).
So to avoid upsetting me, he lies to me instead. Of course, I told him it was unacceptable and he was just taking the east way out. He said he understood if I would never trust him again but that also he would never do it again from now on.
The next day. He told me he was going for coffee with his best friend. This time yes, he informed me where he was going but lo and behold, God wanted to show me that it wasn’t his best friend he was out with but a colleague.
What the hell do I do with my hubby now? He promised me twice he will not lie to me again but he did it again THE VERY NEXT DAY. Now I’m angry and hurt.