I screwed up by booking a woman online for my husband to ‘do it’ with
I (31 F) have been imagining my husband (31 M) doing another woman while I watch and it turned me on.
My husband is very loving, caring, generous, and makes me feel loved so I do not know what kind of stupidity made me want to book a woman for him to ‘do it’ with while I watch.
I was so excited until I mentioned the idea to him and he agreed. I did not expect to feel hurt because this was my stupid idea.
It was obvious that he was excited. He was busy but was able to make time when I asked if we could do it the same day.
I told him about how I felt suddenly felt hurt and uncomfortable but he did not offer to back out so I asked him directly and he said it was ok.
I met the girl online, I told her the truth about what I felt and backed out. I just paid for the photo I asked for.
She said it was ok and we had a little chit chat and when she jokingly said “If you change your mind just feel free to dm me” It turned me on and decided to push thru again.
So I asked my husband again and he agreed again.
Everything was all set but when we were already at the hotel, the girl kept asking for more money aside from the 30% down payment I already sent but I was not comfortable sending more money without getting the service yet.
She eventually backed out and said she will send a refund for the down payment and it made me feel so relieved. I know she will not send the refund but I felt happy I was scammed.
My husband told me it was ok.
My mind is screwed up and I dont know what to do. I cannot talk to anyone else about this. This was my stupid idea but I also do not see my husband the same way.
Thoughts that keep bugging me He was excited.
He was willing to spend that much money. He made time.
Did not offer to back out when I felt hurt and Did not think twice when I asked the 2nd time despite knowing that I felt hurt.