I’m leaving my husband due to his flatulence
He used to fart in public, rank and rancid, and find it hilarious. There were gross sounding farts and often when I went to clean his clothes there was mucus in his underpants which reeked of ancient sewer systems.
I have him an ultimatum – simply to stop farting on purpose when in public and at parties and family gatherings, or I’d leave him.
He promised me. He continued his behaviour though. At a family dinner at our house, he trusted a fart and fully blew chunks into his pants.
At first he tried to say the sound and smell came from me, and I just stood up exasperated and left the table.
When the stench stayed without me in the room, everyone knew it was him and he once again tried to blame me, saying that I cooked him bad eggs for breakfast.
Everyone ended up leaving as he had literally splurted slime down the leg of his pants.
I was mortified and had to tell all of our guests about his constant flatulence later on when they asked why I was divorcing him over this.
He’s tried to win me back by promising not to fart any more and saying that he’ll even clean his own washing. It’s all too late though, for a 40-something year old man to act in such a way.
His family has suggested I support him through whatever he is going through at the moment and said that brain conditions like alzheimers run in his side of the family.
Call me cold but diarrhoea runs in his jeans and I’ve had enough, medical illness or not. I’m done. I’m leaving.