wife wanted an open marriage for years. i gave in
For years she wanted one and I always said no thanks. Its not what I want. She tells me she’s unhappy. She’s not monogamous. She was either going to do it and hurt me or leave me and hurt me or don’t do it and hurt herself, I didn’t want to lose her so gave in.
I said we would try it. And as expected I hate it. She has several guys. After her and her after them. She only wants fwb no relationships. I can’t stand the thought. It made me think violent thoughts. The other night she was nearby with one of them and I legit had the thought to go confront them. That isnt me. I’m a very calm person and never want to incite violence.
But when I thought about it I was one binary option away from doing something that I would have regretted..
She doesn’t want to stop. I told her I wasn’t ok with this anymore. And she hit me with well I’m having fun and I don’t want to stop. I see that it’s ruining our relationship.
Before I agreed to being open our marriage wasn’t great. We have had issues for a long time. Me not engaging with her how she likes. Or even having hobbies together.. Maybe I deserve to watch her connect with people like we never could.
So we’re done. We’re gonna get a divorce. But idk when because divorces aren’t exactly cheap. And I’m the only income. I have her car payment. Her insurance. Our rent. I can’t pay for a divorce rn. also since she doesn’t have a job she can’t move out. So I lm here with her. Together but not together. It’s maddening.
Everyone is Saying to divorce and stop paying for everything, but it’s not that easy. She’s the mother of my child. But I can’t have her lose her only way to potentially get food for my child.
Like I had said our marriage before being open had it’s fair share of problems.
We got married too early. We had a child too young. We placed ourselves in boxes that no longer fit, she changed or rather she embraced what was there. She started choosing herself. After years of putting us first and being unhappy. I can’t be mad at her.
I do wish she could just not… At least until we are separated. And I dont have to sleep in the same bed..