I’m seriously considering divorcing my overweight husband.
I know how awful that sounds. Just hear me out. When me and my husband first started dating we were both reasonable weights. Not fat, not skinny, just reasonable. We got along, he was super sweet, would take me out to nice places, super romantic.
We got married 7 years ago. Ever since then it’s been hellish. He got let go from his job after some budget cuts. He started playing online games, and eating out for most meals even though i offered to make him lunches before i left for work but he refused and said it would be too much work for me. We were still good romantically and apart from his slightly worrying gaming addiction, at the time we were fine.
We had our daughter 2 years into our marriage and I had some complications which led to me being unemployed for a bit because i was recovering from a few surgeries. He refused to get a job and said he would rather spend his time gaming and “taking care of our daughter” so we ended up borrowing money from my mother. This hurt because my mother isn’t in that good of a place, financially, and her giving us the money felt like a really low point.
I love my daughter more than anything and I noticed he didn’t seem too care as much as i did and preferred take out and computers more than our child.
5 Years later, I’m employed, he is not, he is now over 250 pounds, i am still at the 160-170 mark. My husband spends more time interacting with his friends online than me and his daughter, my daughter will occasionally go up to him wanting to play, or spend time with her dad, he 9/10 times will brush her off. He hardly leaves his gaming chair, we haven’t been intimate in 2 years because is physically impossible and he gets tired too quick.
I’ve counted, he has only left the house to run errands with me this year 4 times. We never do things as a family, he’s never fully there with me. I feel like a single mother to two kids, one an actual child with curiosity and a desire to do fun things, one with its ass glued to a game console.
I have tried convincing him to diet, he will always go like 3-4 days before i catch him with a takeaway box or an uber order. I’ve tried so hard with him but he never tries. Our relationship feels so one sided and i don’t know how much longer i’ll be able to hold out like this. I don’t want to divorce because i know what it’s like to grow up in a broken home but i also know what it’s like to have a dead beat father and i can’t tell what i should do?
Any advice would be deeply appreciated.