My (32M) wife (30F) works in mid-level logisitics for a medium SME. Since early last year, she suddenly started traveling to Ho Chi Minh City every single month. At first, it was 2–3 days. Then it became almost a week every time. Every time I asked why her SME suddenly got so much business over there, she would give vague answers like “Oh, business development, regional expansion, you won’t understand.” Okay, fine. Work is work.
Here’s the catch: our marriage has been dead in the bedroom for almost a year. We literally haven’t had “exercise” since August last year because “she’s too tired” or “the stress from work trips is destroying her libido.” I tried to be understanding, buy her bubble tea, clean the house, do the laundry, give her space.
Then last month, she comes back from her 5-day HCMC trip, throws up in the morning, buys a test kit, and BOOM: double line.
I stared at the stick, then stared at her. Before I could even speak, she hugged me, started crying, and said, “Babe, we’re having a baby! It’s a miracle!”
I stood there frozen. “A miracle? We haven’t done anything since six months ago. How is this mine?”
She immediately turned furious. She started screaming that I’m accusing her of cheating, saying “You forgot about that one night after my company dinner in December when you were drunk!” Bro, in December I was down with high-fever, quarantined in the common room while she was out! I wasn’t even conscious, let alone doing anything!
She is now 8 weeks pregnant according to the gynaecological scan. The timeline literally lines up with her Vietnam trip two months ago. Now her mother is calling me an ungrateful monster, saying I’m trying to shirk my duties as a father, and that “a woman wouldn’t lie about such things.”
I confronted her company HR off-the-record through a contact—turns out her “work trips” were unpaid leave she applied for herself. She took no-pay leave every month to fly out.
I want a paternity test, but she says if I force a prenatal DNA test, she will file for divorce, take the HDB, and bleed me dry for child maintenance.
Any Singaporean bros went through this? If I wait until birth to do the paternity test, will I be forced to pay maintenance in the interim? How do I protect my asset/HDB flat before this gets uglier? Please advise, my mental health is completely down the drain.