I need opinions here and don’t mind harsh ones. It is a long post so thank you for reading this and giving your opinion.
I have growing resentment for my husband.
Everytime when I tried to say something serious, he would either laugh it off or pretend to forget if I did not bring it up. I would always, and I mean ALWAYS need to use divorce as a means for him to take me seriously.
For example, I had told him I do not want to stay with in laws after first child is born. He continued to brush off my concerns and pretend to forget until one day I could not take it anymore and just decided to pack my stuff and go back to my mother’s house with kid. Then he took it seriously.
Another example, I told him that we should open a savings account ever since first child is born. A few years later, after the 2nd child is born, the account has not been opened. And yes, we have ZERO savings for the kids. He didn’t think it was a problem. I mentioned if he does not want to have a saving account, then might as well divorce because it makes no difference to me. Yes we finally went to open one. But he is not willing to credit his earnings into the account and pretends to forget until I remind him.
I had no choice but to put my 2nd born into infantcare and look for a job because my savings are depleting. I have PND and with two kids would not be able to commit to my previous job scope. The first job I found was somewhat like tuition. Everyday I would need to travel and teach for 1 hour for $50. He ask me to reject the job citing there is nobody to take care of kids if they are sick. I found a second job, 8.30am to 3pm with salary 2k+ negotiable. He told me to reject citing I need to be off house at 7am, who is going to take kids to childcare.
He told me to help out with his business as cashier everyday for 3 hours, earning $12/hr. I am not willing, but he kind of force me into it. I started since last week and it was so mentally draining. Many ask me why I put my baby in school at such a young age and implied how lucky I was to marry my husband. And worse of it all, my mil was working at the same place too.
I am fuming inside me. I cannot stand the sight of my husband now. He has NO MONEY, no people management skills, just wants to look good in front of other people. Just want to create a ‘Mr Nice Guy’ image. Fyi, he has failed businesses several times and yet failed to see he is not boss material and REFUSES to get a proper job. Money is VERY important especially with 2 kids. I will only ask him for money to buy kids and household stuff and seldom ask him any to buy my own stuff.
Everytime I brought up divorce, I am ready to leave. The sight of him alone makes my blood boil. I went over to stay with my family for a few days with the kids and I was so happy. When I come back home and see him, I get agitated when I see his nonchalant and pretentious attitude towards our problems.
The latest stunt was that he is going to open a business at Woodlands with his cousin and he needs to be away from 6am to 8pm. And surprise! He is going to hitch/grab to and fro everyday because ‘woodlands is too far’ and ‘It takes 1hr+ to travel’. I told him straight don’t come home. I am happier without you.
Please do not tell me to communicate with him nicely. I have tried both face to face and via text. He just pretends the problem is not there until I threaten divorce. There are many other problems. He says I am sick and need to see the doctor. I told my counsellor about our issues and she said we were a mismatch and now need to work on sorting out our mismatch.
I just feel my mental health will worsen if I continue to stay with him. I am starting to believe he is the one with the problem. I really resent him alot. To me, he is just an extremely weak person who has an ego issue. And no this is not my post natal depression speaking because our issues date back to many years ago.
Thanks for reading.