I am attracted to my boss who’s 30 years my senior
I have no specific reason why, but I’m frustratingly attracted to my boss. I can’t pinpoint him as attractive, he’s not amazing at anything and slacks off sometimes, he’s 30 years older than me, and he doesn’t share any common interests with me really.
He’s a nice, normal guy. The only thing he’s done for me is promoting me into a management position, so I work with him a lot more. I didn’t care about him before then.
The only reason I can speculate is that I’m used to guys, including creepy older dudes I hate, liking me and making it obvious.
And I don’t think my boss is attracted to me at all. He also praises me a lot and listens to me, and some part of me seeks some weird validation a step higher than whatever I’m ever getting.
I legit think about him when I go to sleep and when I wake up. This is something I can’t admit to anybody in my personal life, because really it’s awful.
I think if anything ever happened, I’d take it as an achievement. Like I’m “good” enough to make someone do something they shouldn’t.
I don’t think my attraction is viewing him as a person. I hope admitting it can get me to stop. Because constantly thinking about something I can’t have is starting to hurt.