A message to all the ladies out there – always lookout for yourself, even the closest person in your life could get you hurt.
2 years ago, I got to know my now ex-girlfriend, *name redacted*, from a nightclub. She was very caring and attentive with her sweet gestures, bringing me out for supper and surprising me below my house. Even though I was unsure about this as I have never dated a girl, I took a leap of faith and accepted her into my life. Not long after, we got into a relationship, and she moved in with me.
With many regrets, this decision was the biggest mistake that caused me to lose everything in life…
She started to physically assault me when she drinks too much, leaving my body covered with bruises from her beating. She would always apologise to me when she sober up the following day and promised me that this would never happen again. I chose to forgive her because I loved her – And that was a huge mistake. Our relationship worsened as she got more and more abusive day by day, with beatings happening more frequently. Despite that, I chose to stay as I did not want to give up on this love we had.
She then told me she was involved in a lawsuit, charged with some cheating offence and needed money to pay off the fine. Otherwise, she would be jailed. I saw how worried and stressed she was so I decided to lend her the money for the court settlement. The initial sum was $13,000.
Before we moved in together, we agreed on having the rental split equally between the both of us. But then she told me her bank account was seized due to the lawsuit. Therefore she is unable to pay her half. She asked me to cover her share first and wait for her to return the money once her account gets unfrozen – Once again, that did not happen.
She promised to return all the money she borrowed in instalments. She even said she will write an IOU as proof. Till today, I did not receive a single cent nor did I see that IOU she promised. Whenever I try to ask for the instalment and IOU, she would threaten me. I did not dare to engage further as I am afraid she would start hitting me or throwing things at me.
I was committed to this relationship and I really trusted her a lot. When her closest friend *name redacted* needed help for his court settlement, I lent him a lump sum of $24,000 too. I was worried about not getting my money back, but I took out the money anyway because she promised me several times, and I trusted her words that her closest friend would not go back on his words. It has been a year plus, I only received $4,200 repayment from the friend and he went uncontactable ever since then.
Just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, I came to realise that my cash savings of $5,000 went missing at home. When I questioned her about it, she became defensive and she started to threaten me, again. She started hitting me and shouting at me. I ran out of my house with her dragging me on the floor. I screamed for help and the beating only stopped when my neighbour came out upon hearing my voice.
That’s when I realised I need to get out of this relationship.
I started to distance myself from her. I decided to look into things about her, and everything related to her. I found out that everything she told me was a lie. All the lies she came up with was an act to get money out of me. Throughout the entire relationship, she has been lying about her childhood, friends, family background, just so she can victimise herself and borrow money from me.
She would often make me pay for her purchases and take my money for her forex investments.She even linked my phone to hers so she could see all my messages and track my location under the false pretences that she could surprise me from work just so she could sneak around with other girls behind my back.
This whole ordeal has caused me so much anxiety. I can’t sleep at night. And when I do, I get woken up from nightmares. I went for several consultations, talk therapies, psychiatric treatments, but it still left a scar in me that I couldn’t heal. She was right about her threats to destroy me. Because I am destroyed. To find out the person you love and trust is a work of fiction. To realise everything you believed in was all lies. I hope that all the girls out there learn to protect themselves, and will never be in the same situation like me ever. Because I know how much it hurts. I know how it feels like to lose everything you have, and the strength to continue with life.
Source: Michelle Xie on Facebook