I’m a single mother/ widow in my late 30s with 3 children, my husband passed away 10years ago due to a sudden cardiac arrest at work.
It was a shock for us all when we receive the news of his passing because my hubs did a health check 2 weeks before his death and there was no medical condition. It make it even more difficult when I had 3 young children(youngest was an infant) and his parents didn’t receive the news well and they started to blame me for his death.
Before my hubs passing, we live a simple life and were content with whatever we had. My hubs was also a great father to the children and though he spend lesser time at home, his love for his children was no less. He would spend his free time playing, feeding, bathing, and putting the children to bed. He would also help me with the household chores including his fav chore – washing the toilet.
Both of us are working parents and his working hours are irregular due to shift work. But we manage to work out the childcare arrangement including having my mum to help out when the kids are sick.
However, in the eyes of his parents, these are things that he shouldn’t be doing and i did not fulfil my role as a wife to care for him and overwork him by having him to do the “extra duties” that may result to his death.
After his passing, his parents told me that I have made my hubs work so hard for the family which lead to his death. So now, I would have to rely on my own and I can take my hubs insurance monies and leave. Which my husband had also name me as the beneficiary for the the insurance. I was hurt with their words as I lost my hubs too but I try not to take their words seriously since they are also grieving for the loss of their son.
During the first year of the passing of my hubs, i did try to make attempts to visit them with the children, hoping that the children will bring them comfort. But all our calls and visit requests were denied.
Since than i have not met them for almost 10years. But recently I bump into their relatives on the street and got called out and criticise for being “cold hearted”, “unfilial”, “money grubber / money face”?! ????????
I was taken aback with what was said and was angered by all the untruth and assumption made. I didn’t explain myself to these people as I don’t own them anything and walked away. Thank god, my children weren’t with me.
The only sum I receive was my hubs insurance monies and I’ve save it for my children education this would also be my hubs wish. How was it a money face?
I didn’t share this incident with my family because it would anger them. They have been the ones supporting me and the 3 kids, so that I We can rebuild our lives and the children can have good childhood like other kids. I am grateful for what my family has done for us.
Til this day as I look back, I would think that I did what I could back than.
I hope I do not have to meet them and our path will never cross if this is what it takes to move on with our lives.