Not being to get physically intimate with my disabled boyfriend is weighing on me
I (30f) have been dating my boyfriend (34m) for 6 years now. 4 years ago we went on a trip and got into an accident. He hasn’t been able to move from the neck down ever since.
My boyfriend hasn’t had any intimate desire since the incident. And of course I don’t blame him. But I also have needs too. He says he feels hurt if I touch myself or do anything without him.
Even if it’s in front of him. So to stay loyal to what he wants, I haven’t. I’ve never even been really into getting off but it seems to be the only option (if only he allowed it). He makes me feel dirty for my needs. I miss the intimacy we once had.
Am I wrong for thinking this is too controlling?
I overheard his mother saying to his father that if I left him then karma will make me paralyzed too. I don’t think his mom knows about the intimacy issues, but it is possible she overheard us arguing. Not that this has anything to do with my main issue of this post. Just adding this to vent.
I do feel like I want out of the relationship deep down. But how people would react like his mother, people in the community, and having to explain to loved ones that I left him would make people think horribly of me.
Especially since I couldn’t explain why due to it being explicit. And mainly picturing him just all alone just in his room doing nothing day in and day out if I left him.
It tears me apart. I just don’t want to be oppressed anymore. His mindset really seems like it’s only fair that if he can’t get intimate anymore then I can’t either even though he doesn’t desire it.
Just feeling trapped.