I can’t forgive myself for my dog’s death. Its been nearly 30 years
Monty was a great dog. He was my best friend in a time when I was socially crippled with extreme shyness.
I loved him but I didn’t take care of him as well as I should have.
I could have done more research into what kinds of food would have been more healthy. I could have trimmed his hair more often in our really hot summers. I could have used better quality soup on him which left his fur lifeless and dull when it could have been beautiful and shiny. I should have been even more attentive in his old age when he got depressed
Here’s what I say to console myself. I lived in a pre-internet world where dogs are not appreciated. As a result there weren’t really much opportunities for any kind of research.
There were very few veterinarians and those that existed were lacking in resources. I myself had to act as a nurse in at least 2 cases where the vet had to operate on my dog’s ears.
I had no idea what kind of food or products were good for a dog. As a result I’ve never been able to shake the realization that he was malnourished and he often covered in ticks that I had to spend ages removing one by one.
Most of all, I was a kid and had to do most of this on my own.
None of that seems to work. There was always more I could have done. When he became sick in his old age and because of his health issues I should have paid even more attention to him.