I have a lot of resentment towards my mother-in-law
She is not a bad person, in fact she is very kind and helpful from her heart. She is the type of friend who will go all out to help you no matter what problem you have.
However, her dynamic with my husband is bad… really bad. She was a single mom since he was 7 and she was probably too young to manage a child so he was on his own a lot. Then she was absent during his growing up years leaving him with relatives while she worked and also fall out with the relatives due to her easily offended behavior.
When he got into adulthood, he had to in turn take care of her like a parent which included managing her finances, taxes, her rental property, her medical appointments, basically she doesnt learn/know anything and depended on him a lot and sometimes I see how that stresses him out. They argue a lot when they talk too which is where all my resentment is arising from.
My husband is one of the sweetest man I have ever met until it comes to his mom. But being her only son, he cannot shun the responsibility so all the interactions stresses him and out and in turn stresses me out.
Next, I know she is easily offended so I am always cordial to her to keep the boundary. Means I give her respect but I can never give her love. I know she wants to love me like a daughter because that is in her nature, she has a lot of love and a lot of strong feelings.. but I just can’t because of resentment and boundary. I keep the boundary so that we will not have a relationship so we will not have a chance for conflict. In other words, I do not have any desire to be personal with her on any level and I think she can sense it.
Lately, the resentment got stronger because she said she is having anxiety and that also worried my husband. I have no sympathy towards her, I feel that she is weak and useless and burdening my husband. Additionally, I feel like a horrible monster because I have so much sympathy for even people on the streets, the homeless but I have no sympathy for her. I feel horrible and angry when I think of her. I dont like this version of myself.. Just ranting.