My fiancé and I are both divorced for several years and have dated each other for about 2 years.
We recently spoke about wanting to have a future together and intend to be married by next year. I have a kid from past marriage, he doesn’t.
My parents like him a lot, same for his parents towards me. My relationship with my ex is not good and we don’t communicate unless it’s about our child.
My fiancé and his ex (non-local) divorced because she felt they were not suitable for each other a few years into the marriage. He tried to salvage it but she insisted on leaving. She subsequently dated several men over the next couple of years after their divorce and came to realization that he is still the best man for her. She tried to reconcile with him but he had already met me by then. Throughout the 1-2 years of her dating, both her and my fiancé have maintained a relatively good friendship, meeting up regularly for meals. However, from the point when she tried to reconcile with him onwards, she would cling on to his hand, tried to get close to him etc. and my friends have spotted them together outside, not intimate, but seems to be more than friends. He claimed that he would always tell her to keep her hands to herself as they are no longer an item and he has a gf.
I have shared my thoughts with him that his continual meeting of his ex while knowing she still loves him makes me feel insecure. So since last year, after we spoke about settling down together, my fiancé had reduced his communications with her drastically, and they also meet up a lot lesser. Some of you may wonder why can’t he stop seeing her altogether. I wondered too.. To him, he treats her like a sister as she is alone in SG so he tries to watch out for her and render help when she needs it. I can totally understand this as I am a woman too. Part of me feel sorry for her as they used to have a relationship together as well, but the other part of me wish that she would just go back to her own country and leave us alone.
The reason why this is still a thorn in my flesh is because I know she still loves him. She is always one of the very first to react to my fiance’s FB posts, unless it has something to do with me. She also used to text him very often even if it’s just to say good morning or ask him about his day, until he told her to stop doing that. She even purposely rented a place very near to where he’s staying. SG so many properties, why must purposely pick the one that is 5 mins away?
I trust the man I have chosen. He is a very wonderful, loving and responsible man, and the things he has done for me and my little family is something I myself may not have been able to do, had we swapped places. So I don’t know is it me, picking on something that shouldn’t be of a concern? Some days I really wonder, am I being too selfish for limiting him spending time with his ex. Other days I feel resentful towards this woman who immaturely chose to leave a good man and then continually lurk around him after knowing he is attached. It’s kinda eating me up inside.