Moved on but the other party doesn’t learn to leave me alone
About 6 month ago, I was dumped by my ex.
At the same time I was facing issues of urinary incontinent due to surgery complication as well as side effect of the drug used.
My relationship with this guy started sometime after the surgery.
Since I am hitting 30, I was thinking of wanting a child of my own hence I decided to proceed with a relationship with this guy whom had half my salary and not of my industry.
We are from a very different background where I have already reach the middle management level while he is just an executive hence the salary differences.
I am more of an independent women while he prefer to be the boss of the relationship despite knowing my character well that I am not ready to let go my career regardless of what happen in the future.
So the red flag start when he kept bring up that I like to eat at restaurant despite when we are both together we only go to hawker or fast food place for meal.
I had explain about the reason I prefer to go restaurant when I am alone but he just keep picking this topic up as if I made a mistake.
Then things goes further downhill when we begin to discuss our saving.
I did lie a little but what he did was a little too much.
So I said I save about $500 a month while I was paying my house loan, student loan as well as providing both my parent and my grandmother.
He start telling me off for spending so much on food and I spend $600 for food alone a month while giving the elders each $500.
He disapproved that I spend more on food while giving the elders $100 less as well as saving so little per month ($500).
Then after trying for 2 month to have a kid…… He just hang me aside and on the day we broke up he can laugh and say he prefer his game over solving the problem between us.
He even said that I should go to sperm bank and to go out with another guy, if after a month I find that he treated me better then I should go back to him.
Then he blocked me.
So I cried a night.
My subordinate then calculated how much he saved per month over his entire career, I realize he have no rights to tell me off.
He is 2 years older than me, his saving and my saving is the same including CPF.
But I actually owned a house fully paid and no student loan since I work while I do both my degree and master.
So by average he save $500 a month over the years.
In the end I choose to move on as I realize my wallet treated me better than my ex.
However he begin to message me asking if I still want a kid after about 2 month time we broke up.
At one instant he even ask for a meet up.
By that time I have moved on from that relationship returning to my singlehood which I had comfortably did for 7 years before this relationship which doesn’t even last more than 5 month (including the on and off time in between)
These messages came almost every month till yesterday I decide to tell him to leave me alone by giving him a final message that if he every message me again I will report him to the police for harassment.
Honestly he dumped me to begin with and I don’t understand why is he doing this continuously.
From this relationship I also learn that dating a guy with lower salary indeed is very challenging when the spending power is extremely different.
So since I broke up I decide it is better to be single than to date a poor guy.
Not because I am materialistic but it is really torturing.
During the course of the relationship I had choose to save by spending $6 a day on food yet to him it is still not good enough. (*mostly cook porridge or eating cracker and tofu)
That’s why when I broke up and return to my old lifestyle I decide I don’t want to go back to him again.
I know some will judge my for being dumb and stupid for having myself into this situation but I have moved on.
To be honest when we both start dated the urinary incontinent thingy wasn’t there till the final month of the relationship.
Now my health is doing a lot better except his harassment really disgust me.
Yes some may say I can block him but that is my work number.
Now I lead a happier life but does not understand why he is doing this to me and I wonder how to tell him to move on from this relationship if he continue his messages.