Do you consider not giving an allowance to parents as unfilial?
I just wanted to ask for some opinions after an encounter with some friends.
I’m 32F, married with 1 kid (3yo). I recently met up with some friends (we used to be very close in uni). However, due to conflicting schedules, covid, etc, we haven’t met for almost 6 yrs.
Suddenly the topic of how much of our income we give to our parents as “allowance” came up, and when I said I don’t give them any, my friends got all shocked and gave me the judging look.
We discussed this when we first started out our careers and not again until now. Back then, I was only earning 3k/mth, so finances were tight and my parents specifically said they didn’t want anything, so my friends kinda understood that.
Fast forward now, my monthly is about 11k, and I can more than provide for my parents. However, they still refuse to accept any money I give and threaten to throw back any money I give. The only thing they ask for is that I pay it forward to my kid the next time, as they did to me.
At their age (my dad is 75 and mum 70), both are still working and are very frugal. I visit them almost every week to eat and let them play with my kid.
So when I told this to my friends (I’m kinda open about finances), they got all shocked and said I should be more filial and find ways to pass allowance to my parents. They claimed that even though they earn just about half of my salary or slightly more, they still have to pass 10% as allowance cause of filial piety and I should minimally do that so because I’m earning significantly more than them.
Honestly, for so long, I know my parents and its an open and shut case. But since my filial piety is now in question, I’m posting here for some thoughts and opinions.