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Friday, June 21, 2024


Husband is a miser and I don’t feel loved. I hope my husband read this.


We are married for 9years and have a beautiful son. We are both earning above 10k and have a comfortable life and all are good except that my husband is a miser, and towards me.

He stays with me and he only gives me $300 a month and that is barely enough to cover his share for electricity and parking while I pay for everything in the house(think repairs/replacements of Aircon/lightbulbs).

I pay for ALL supermarket runs and we go on Dutch for all meals (he would even get a few dollars from my for my plate of rice). His love language is spending quality time and he does great at that and I really appreciate. However, my love language is gifts and I rarely get anything from him.

He buys me like 2-3 tshirts(less than $100 a year) and it’s caused he wanted those for himself and a birthday present a year (which I have to buy him back one with almost the same amount of money. It also means I am just paying for my own present in advance).


He keep saying he needs to save money for house and mind you, it is for his own share and he’s not paying for everything. He only wants what he wants and I am expected to accomdate and pay for my share of it as well. He has no problem splurging on himself (think 2kplus suits, tops/pants) and only sees a problem when I asked for a gift and gets angry when I said he is stingy.

Actually, all I wanted is to feel love. I wanted to also be able to show that my husband dote and spoils me. I am only expecting presents on special occasions like birthday and Christmas and not having the need to ‘repay’ him with another item of the same amount. Is this asking for too much? I didn’t even get a ‘push’ present from him and yet I am spending a lot of money due to giving birth.

I am so sick of ‘begging’ him for gifts to make myself feel better. Talking to him doesn’t work as I’ve tried many times and he always have excuses.

Yes I can afford those things myself but I just want to feel that I have a husband who is willing to spoil me once in a while when I’ve been paying for everything in the house, all the supermarket runs, all my share of the meals.

It is getting so bad that I am so tired of this relationship where I have to accommodate and pay my share for all his wants and yet I don’t get a present when I asked for it once or twice a year. Whenever I bring up this topic to him, he will get upset and keep saying he doesn’t have money as he needs to save for his share of the house and the next moment, I can see him buying nice things for himself.


To him I can well afford it myself and why do I need to ask from him but he doesn’t understand that I can only feel love and spoiled by him when I received those things from him once or twice a year.

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