Found out my (32F) fiancé (35M) lied about his job.
TLDR – My fiancé lied about holding high profile positions and projects, which I discovered today because he asked me to print his personnel record.
We have been together 3 years, engaged 6 months. We both work for the same employer, but in different departments/buildings so we never interact at work.
I work in administration, personnel records are not my job, but I have access so when the personnel team is backed up, I can lend a hand.
Today he texted me, asking if I could print his personnel record and bring it home. Sure, easy peasy.
The problem became when I read his records, there was a huge discrepancy between the high profile positions and projects he’s said he worked on, and what is actually in his record (his current job, and a brief stint as a trainer in a different department).
I’m not sure if he lied to either impress me or make himself look/feel better about his job. Either way, it’s weird af. What am I supposed to do with this information?
Do I confront him with it, or let him live in his fantasy world? I didn’t fall in love with him because of his job.
Personally, I found the bragging (lying) really off-putting, but I was willing to overlook it, because he seemed so genuine and charming.
I am at a complete loss on my next steps here.
Side note: I never looked up his personnel records before because I had no reason to not trust him.
- It’s a major character indicator if he doubles down on it and saying there was a mistake, or tries to lie to you and say he never said that.
- Wowie, you’re going to be second-guessing everything he tells you from now on. This definitely is a red flag. He’s not who you thought he was.
- I mean yeah at this point, of course you confront him with it. It’s not like you were snooping, and clearly it bothers you enough (as it would me, too) that it’s not something you can keep under wraps indefinitely. Just talk.