Do I need to tell people beforehand that I don’t want to be choked when we get intimate in bed?
I (26f) hate being choked in bed, regardless of how hot men think it is. I know a lot of people really like it and I respect that, but I’m just not one of them.
I’ve had several experiences where guys (all were mid/late 20s) assumed I would be into it and choked me, especially when we’re halfway in missionary position and I’m just lying there defenceless, without discussing it with me.
I did not consent to this and it makes me angry, pretty much ruining the experience for me. I no longer feel safe with them since they’ve done something to me that I did not consent to, and that kills the appeal for me.
So how can I avoid this happening again? Do I need to preface that I don’t want to be choked before doing it with someone or are these outlier experiences?
I don’t want to kill the mood but I also don’t want to be choked anymore.
- I’ve had guys SLAP me without asking first.
- You shouldn’t have to. But apparently you do. Anyone who is the choker should know there’s no way to do this 100% safely. I wouldn’t want to be the guy who choked a girl out who is basically a stranger… lol
- People should NEVER be choking other people without asking explicitly for consent. Obviously there are exceptions if you’re in a longer relationship and you give your partner more expansive permission. But no you shouldn’t have to tell people you don’t want to be choked without being asked.
- No idea what is making millennial & gen z men think they can choke & slap us during the act. I had someone grip on my throat while making out and it literally sent my body into panic mode and started crying. ask if it’s okay first!!!