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Tuesday, September 27, 2022


Found out fiancé and his fam are planning to get me pregnant


Admin pls don’t filter this, I don’t have anyone to turn to, not even my parents. Trying to keep this short, am in my mid 20s, fiancé in his mid 30s. I enjoy being with him alot. We’ve been tgt for long and l made it clear from the start that I only wanted a child at 30, which he agreed to. Why at such a late age is because I wanted to continue studying after Uni.

At present, I’ve gotten my masters and am very contented with my job. Not long after I graduated, fiancé proposed and I noticed some changes. The topic of kids started becoming more frequent.

From “see how cute xx’s babies are” to “what will u do if u suddenly got pregnant? You won’t abort the baby right?” Whenever his nephew and niece visited, his parents started joking that I should pop out a playmate for them soon.

A few weeks ago, fiancé drove out to get dinner while I stayed in his room to finish a report on his computer. It’s my fault, I opened his desktop WhatsApp out of curiosity, just wanting to see who he was texting. I totally take the blame at this part.


Everything seemed fine until I saw my name mentioned by his dad. I clicked the convo, and it was them exchanging links on how to get a woman pregnant inconspicuously. His dad wrote that he’d done something similar with his mom and she never regretted having more kids than she originally intended so “(my name) will be thankful next time”

I tried to minimise interaction with his fam after that, but still kept things usual. They’ve treated me with a lot of love and kindness, even offering to buy a condo for us when we got engaged. When I brought this issue up with my mom, she echoed the same sentiments that I should have a child as early as possible.

She didn’t think there was much to it since fiancé and his fam are generous and well to do, so I’d have a comfortable life. When I talked to my dad, he didn’t support their actions but also advised me it was “dangerous to wait too long”.

Right now I’m extremely wary when sleeping with fiancé, which he has been requesting more of, in case he tries to pull anything funny. Have hinted and reminded him that I’d like another 4/5 years in the corporate world before having a child, but he brushes it off, jokingly saying that he’s more than ready to be a dad and take care of us, and his family also want to help raise our kids.

I’m not sure how to feel about this situation. I’m furious that no one is taking me seriously or respects my wishes. But I’m also scared to appear demanding and overreacting, with how people are downplaying the issue. I definitely don’t want to lose my fiancé because I still love him.


This issue aside, I’ve always viewed him as my ideal partner in life, from looks, personality, charm and intelligence. It’s just that because of our age difference, while he has scaled the corporate ladder and feels comfortable settling down, I’m only just starting out.

I wish I could go back in time to stop myself from going through his messages. Am I being selfish for wanting more time before having a child?

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