A woman shared how she learned that her fiance used to be a pick up artist who studied the art of picking up women, and how she is disgusted.
Here is the story
Learned my fiance used to be a pick up artist, and I’m kind of disgusted.
I’m 32F, he’s 38M. We’ve been dating for 4 years, and have been engaged for a year.
Last weekend, after a few drinks, he told me about how a former fling (now married) recently reached out to him to try and hook up secretly. He said he told her he wasn’t interested and tried to turn it into a conversation about if her marriage is going ok, but she stopped responding. I thanked him for letting me know.
He then said something kind of cryptic “She was someone I was casually seeing before I met you. Shes seen a side of me you haven’t really seen before.” I asked, what side is that? He said “The romantic.” I kind of laughed because the conversation was getting weird, but we were both pretty drunk, and told him I have seen him be plenty romantic in the past 4 years.
He then said “no, not romantic like that, like I used to study the art of picking up women.” And proceeded to go into a long rant about how unsuccessful most men are at romance, but you just need to learn how to manipulate women and they’ll fall all over you.
He went into detail about how you always pick the hottest girl in the room as your goal, but start by flirting with a friend of hers, and eventually she’ll get jealous that she’s not getting your attention and start going for you. And a few more “tips” of being a pickup artist.
He assured me at the end that he isn’t like that anymore, but did say he thinks its still a successful method for men who are dating.
The night finished, but I can’t get what he said out of my mind. I think pick up artists are really manipulative and skeezy, and im feeling kind of disgusted that he did that kind of stuff. I’ve personally never felt manipulated by him, but I feel like it speaks to how he values women that he’d do that.
Should I try to let this pass, or talk to him about it? If I do talk to him, how can I even express my disgust without it sounding like a personal attack?