I’m about to marry and move out within the next couple of months and my mum has been extremely sensitive and flaring up for no reasonable reason – being upset over things like “not telling her everything” (there’s no change in the extent of things I tell her for the past 10 years), “de prioritising her” (I’ve been getting busy at work and she gets upset when I have dinner plans and don’t accompany her).
She attributes all of this to me having a partner so “I tell him everything instead”, and she’ll say things like “see in a few years if your marriage will still last” and “I’m not trying to dampen your spirits right before your wedding but this is the truth”.
Then proceeds to say she doesn’t want to attend the wedding etc etc.
Extremely fed up from my end (but I did not engage in her comments), and this feels like an oncoming empty nest syndrome?? Can any kind souls please tell me how to make this transition easier?
Edit: just to add on, yes I’m the only child. My dad is with us in the household, semi retired. She also says things like her life has no meaning anymore, she can die soon, etc.
- She seems way too spiteful. Protect your peace. Just keep a healthy distance. You don’t always need to go back to her house for a meal, in fact, it may help that you and your spouse bring her out for a meal instead.
When she is out of the house having dinner outside with you, it is a lot different compared to when you’re at her house, within her comfort zone, and within her space where she feels bold enough to start lashing out at you.
She’s forgetting that back when she was younger, she herself did make the life plans to move out and get married and start a family too.
Also, don’t tell her too many things or personal details. At this point, it will save you a lot of pain by not doing so. Don’t arm her with more bullets to keep firing at you. So just keep your conversations light, nothing too heavy or personal.
- What’s kind of mother told her own daughter “see in a few years if your marriage will still last” before her wedding?