My (31M) boyfriend says I’m (31F) too masculine and I don’t let him be a “man.”
I admit, I can have a strong personality and like “masculine” things according to him. Things like playing pool, studying engineering, and listening to comedy are some. I do like to voice my thoughts and don’t mind a debate. I’m a “modern woman”.
Anyways, he’s been ranting often about letting him “be a man” and to stop being so dominant. Small things like buying and carrying a huge bottles of drinks up to our apartment was a power move. Or doing things on my own is showing I don’t need him. It’s a bit much.
There’s something that just doesn’t let me be feminine around him because I feel like if I don’t take action, things either don’t get done or fall apart.
He’s so fixated that he wants to be a “masculine man” in the relationship yet he’s the more emotionally unstable one, can’t support me financially, and irresponsible at times.
If he wants to fulfill that “traditional male” role but doesn’t put the effort then how can I even support his ask?
Netizens’ comments
- He needs to see a therapist, not blame his insecurities on your hobbies, interests, and abilities. That can become, if isn’t already, straight up toxic.
- When tf did playing pool and listening to comedy become male only ?!
Engineering, I know a girl who studied this, only girl in the class, they were all horrible to her.
She now has a very lucrative job and flies all round the world and loves it. She says even now she finds those a-holes who don’t think she should be in her job. - I feel like you’ve presented the problem perfectly. He can’t be a man if he still behaves like a little boy.
Also, welcome to the 21st century, where women have to assume “both traditional roles” because the average man is as useless in the house as a hundred years ago, and then some. - The only men who say entering, playing pool, getting the water you need etc isn’t fine is men who don’t want the option it poses when women are allowed (and clearly can) do these things.
So now he is trying to guilt you into not doing these things he clearly can’t or won’t do by designating these actions as masculine and you abnormal for successfully completing them