SOS. Mentally exhausted and feels disgruntled against my company
I would like to ask how to continue working when you are extremely disgruntled with what your company has done to you. My industry is suffering global mass layoffs so I cannot afford to jump at this moment. 30YO (6YOE), local, IT industry (Project Management PMO and IT outsourcing in nature). I am dragging my feet to work every morning.
Here’s the story. I don’t have family nor friends to talk on this. I don’t want my family to get worried (besides they are not working in corporate world, so whatever happens they always blame it on me).
Last year I joined this company and I have been performing well according to the internal one-to-to appraisal discussion. Unfortunately I was diagnosed with some illnesses with major surgeries (it was a matter of life and death and the recovery was very tough on my body and mental health).
Luckily I managed to survive and the illness is a one-off thing and is not a chronic disease. So I just need a few months to fully recover (bedridden). So my future work performance is not impacted.
Unfortunately this was what happened. I mean I do not expect them to be concerned of my feelings and conditions to the extent of asking how I feel. But I definitely did NOT deserve this. Knowing that I was hospitalised, I was immediately informed that my probation was extended to further notice due to low performance. (My probation ended right before the surgery, and should be well deserved with all my hardworking wasted every night and weekend doing outsourcing work).
I was devastated, I was really upset. I was on my bed (I couldn’t even get up) crying. What did I do to deserve this? Please note that I just escaped from death and my mental wellbeing was very terrible.
So what was even worse? As I didn’t pass probation, I was put on unpaid salaried employee for months as I don’t deserve MC and Hospitalisation Leave.
And the worst is coming. My insurance agent told me it is not certain if my bills get covered. When I enquired my company on the insurance policy, they said I am not covered. Despite this, Knowing that I am totally broke and falling apart, they proceeded to not pay my salaries. Any subsequent doctor visits I am on unpaid salaried position. Needless to say, no bonus, no anything, nothing.
So currently, I just passed my probation after more than 15 months of being on probationary period.
I can’t get over what they do it to me. Is this typical in Singapore company? IT industry is also suffering now and I can’t seem to get a job. What should I do to continue working in such company? I can’t even bear to stay even one day.