WOMAN HAS PROBLEMS COMMUNICATING WITH HER MOM BECAUSE TOO MANY SIBLINGS

I am not angry, just upset with the dynamics between me and my mum and idk how to make things better.

My mum rarely asks about my day or what I do. When I initiate to tell her stuff, she starts talking about herself or my siblings. When this happens I stop talking. Not because I’m upset but because I have no idea if my own mother is interested in me. I don’t want to keep talking if she is not interested. It’s fine. I can share those stories with my friends, even though she is my mum and I want her to know something about me. She knows nothing about me beyond 7 years old.

I don’t blame her. Personally I feel having three kids is too much for her to handle. She is occupied with my older sister and my younger sis who are more accomplished. She simply doesn’t have any spare attention or energy for me. Not that she doesn’t want to.

Sigh. Not interested in me? Fine. But it’s annoying when she starts saying things about me that are not true. For instance, telling her friends that I don’t eat a certain food. Fuck bitch. I have been eating that in front of you my whole life. You just haven’t been paying attention.

Sometimes i think that maybe I would be happier without my family. The lack of connection breaks my heart more than anything.

Anyone in a similar situation? How to make things better? As time goes by, my family becomes the last perosn I tell anything to. It’s sad. I cannot express how lonely I feel. I know my family loves me but there is no understanding and no connection. No one knows anything about me at home. They remember nothing even if I told them. Being busy is one thing but if you don’t ask and don’t remember shit then that is just messed up. Also, I am always the last perosn to know things at home. They discuss with each other at their own time and one notices that I’m not being told. I don’t think it’s intentional. It’s prolly just that there are too many people (?) . I’m married with kids. I told my husband that if we want kids, it must be even number.

How?

Here are what netizens think:

• I can relate to this. You can’t choose this family and you can’t choose your connection with them. If they don’t vibe with you then you can’t help it. It takes two hands to clap. BUT you can choose to make your own family. So go out there make friends and make your own family outside. The ones you can choose. 

• Not all people are great communicators. Some people are just not comfortable in direct engagement about each other but chose to talk about 3rd parties to seek a common ground. She probably does the same to your others sisters without you knowing. Why not initiate a trip with just you and your mum? Is never too late to rebuild your relationship with your mum.

• When a mum has too many kids, they will definitely show favouritism. Until today, the current era’s parents are still behaving like that. Part of the personality. Just get busy with ur own life~~

• Just wanna say that there are parents who inadvertently practise favouritism and unfortunately, it seems ur mum does that. I think if their love for u or lack thereof is not the kind of love you need, just cut time spent on them n channel the time to more deserving people like ur husband, BFFs or the family you will create. As for even number or not for number of kids, even if u have two kids, you can still practise gross favouritism towards one. It’s not the number of kids that matter, it’s you. I hve 4 kids myself n can safely say that I love my kids equitably. I love them in age appropriate and different ways, ways that they need to be loved, so it may or may not seem equal to others, but it is equal to my kids (asked them before)