I hate my mother
I am in my 30s this year. I have 3 kids.
My plans are always for my mother to take care of the kids. But she always complains about how naughty my kids were and that my maid was not up to the task. To cut the story short my in-laws took over the task and there was peace.
Recently I got retrenched and lucky enough within one month I got a new job.
Caveat was I need a car. The COE was at a all-time high and I am thinking of borrowing money from her and repay her monthly. But she gave excuses to my hint. I have been giving her an allowance since the first month I started working for 20 years.
Thinking back she was not helping with my uni tuition fee which I took a bank loan she was helping only minimally for my wedding.
Thousands of dollars where I help the bulk of the wedding expense with my now husband.
Sometimes we only need some money to tide over. Why is she now helping in any way and care about herself even though she is financially well off with my father’s inheritance even though she is not working.
Am I even right to feel angry?
Herer are what netizens think:
- i dont have good relationship with my parents either. but it is due to this relationship that i learnt not to expect much from them. That is how i found my peace. Although i am ok that they are old and looking forward to enjoyment. I am quite fortunate that my parents taught me i have only myself to depend on. Good luck be positive
- Ur education, ur wedding, ur kids, ur car…take care of it all urself can
- Whatever my mother’s attitude/ character…if she’s sometimes unfair it’s okay…really respect and love her…she’s getting old,i don’t want to regret being calculative daughter towards her when she’s gone one day…
- I think elderly needs to have money to feel “secured” they are old and considering that she don’t work. having money helps to make her feel “safe”.
- next, if she volunteers to handle your children. great if not then you shouldn’t expect her to do it and feel good about it.
- lastly, it’s honestly up to her to decide to help you with that car or not. car is but a luxury , depends on how much you need to travel you can take a grab or negotiate for an allowance for transport with your employer.
- I took my degree paying it fully myself too. it’s not easy half studying and working. but it made me mature and independent. it’s dangerous to think that parents should help with university fees.