SOS
I am in a 12 years long term relationship with my first boyfriend. Our BTO is coming in 2 years time. Everything thing is going well smoothly. Our end goals are aligned. (BUT) what if the grass is greener on the other side? What if there’s other fishes in the sea? Ultimately I have not even stepped foot in the other ocean. What if I could find a better fish that could provide me a better life?
Don’t get me wrong, My boyfriend is a sweetheart. He is a typical guy with a stable income, goes to the gym, pays for my meals, doesn’t drink, smoke or party, and most importantly he is filial to his parents. It’s just a little part of me feels that i’m “settling” since ultimately I have not dated any other guys before. But with the upcoming BTO, i would feel it is a waste that i’m throwing all these good stuff away just to “explore”.
But if I don’t, i will always feel like there’s someone out there better, with car and condo waiting for me. Please Advice
Here are what netizens think:
- I’m here to tell you – the guy with condo and car will not want you .. Because you, bring nothing to the table
- the truth is the grass is always greener on the other side and that’s sometimes a perception. The truth is also there will be someone better n richer than your current one ,more money ,more handsome ect ect…it is not wrong to think what you are thinking after all why settle for less right? now the thing about a marriage is the scary word “commitment” and that’s what it is, you are committed to the one you married to and you have to “Forego” what’s on the side. always remember the grass us always greener on the other side and along with it there is also baggage. I have friend who walk out on the day of their marriage…so, you have to really think what you really really want, never be afraid to pursue what you want ..
- How do you define “a good catch”? Someone richer? More good-looking? Higher job status? There are definitely tons of such people out there. But does it mean that someone richer is willing to pay for your meals and buy you expensive gifts? Does it mean that such a “good catch” will find you to be a “good catch” too?
Or do you mean someone who loves you more, dotes on you more, adores you even more than your fiancé? Someone who is even more of a sweetheart, even more filial to his parents, takes better care of himself, doesn’t party and smoke and have bad habits, AND stay faithful to you?
You know the goodness of your boyfriend but you do not acknowledge nor appreciate him enough for who he is. A marriage is not a deal where you consider whether you got a “better deal” than you should have.
If this man makes you doubt your decision, to be fair to him, leave now than break his heart later on. No one can tell you what’s worth your life. Only you can decide for yourself. And you’ll NEVER know the loyalty of your husband, until the day he dies.
But from the way you’re looking at this relationship, it seems like you’ll be the one to walk out on him, when a “better catch” comes along. Take a break from the relationship if needed, think through seriously and reflect. Walk away now than after marriage and children. Do yourself and this good man a huge favour. All the best!