My overstepping mother-in-law
Every time my mother-in-law calls me, she asks me where I am. She wants to know if I am at my parent’s house. It is none of her business where I am. I am 30yo and I do not have to answer this woman.
My husband has a very busy schedule so I often visit my parents’ place since he leaves the house in the morning and only returns after midnight. It gets lonely (I wfh and my job isn’t all that taxing) so instead of going out I’d rather spend time in my childhood home. My husband is okay with it because he understands that otherwise I’ll just be sitting in an empty house every day.
My mother-in-law however feels that I should stay home and wait for my husband as it is a wife’s duty. She adds that only when my husband (her son) knows someone is waiting for him will he be incentivised to return earlier.
I think she is really overstepping by asking me where I am every time she calls. I don’t want to rudely tell her off but I know she is trying to find out so she can later blame me should she find out my husband and I have a fight.
When my husband stayed with her, she would not eat until he’s with her or sleep until he returned home (even after his drinking session she will wait). In my mind, I married an adult who should know when to return. Otherwise why’d he get married?
How to get the message across without creating a fight with this woman? If I complain to my husband (which I don’t want to) he may take his mother’s side. He is also the kind who’ll try to not get involved because it is easier. No point going to him. Please help.
Here are what netizens think:
- It so happened that you married a mummy-boy husband. Your MIL is helping her son to keep track of you. She needs to ensure you didn’t go out to meet other guys and be faithful to her son. In her eye, you are still a small girl even though 30 yo
- The solution is damn easy – have a nice, open direct talk with your MIL without putting in too much confrontational emotion. Set the record straight as you have written here, best to put it in point form and transmit it calmly. Manage the talk well in a harmonious and peaceful way.
- U should be lucky that you are not staying with ur mil. U are married to ur husband not your mother in law. You have ur own life to live. And u have ur own rights to do what ever you want. Just be safe in what ever you do.
- Just set her straight. Seriously, our aversion to saying things directly to the older folks does not help in building a relationship. She probably doesn’t realize she’s overstepping cos nobody ever told her she is