A woman shared how her boyfriend had gained weight and she is no longer attracted to him.
Here is the story:
I have the best boyfriend ever. He is so smart and kind, and I adore him. We have been together for 6 years, living together for 3.
For the past few years, he has been gaining weight. He has gained about 13 pounds total, and he is just on the cusp of being overweight.
I still love him and think he is the bees knees, but I am just not feeling physically attracted to him anymore.
He used to be a big runner and was very thin and fit when we first met. We used to love to run together but due to an injury I am no longer able to run.
I love working out and go to spin classes and lift weights, but my gym is women’s only (and his gym is only for employees) so unfortunately going to the gym together isn’t really an option.
I did tell him about a year ago that I would like for us lose weight (I had gained a few pounds too) and have been cooking healthy meals for us. I was able to lose 10 pounds, but he was not.
Am I totally selfish? I really don’t want to throw away an amazing relationship with a fantastic human, but I can’t spend the rest of my life with someone I’m not physically attracted to. Any advice?
Netizens’ comments
I’m not saying it’s wrong to want to be physically attracted to your partner, but consider this. Beauty fades, no matter how hard you try.
People get older, gain weight, get wrinkles, lose their hair, etc. It is inevitable that no man you date is going to remain as attractive as the day you met them for their whole life, and you will not remain as attractive either.
If he hadn’t gained weight now would you have still loved him when he starts going bald or gray? Would you still love him when his face is covered in wrinkles?
Not every love is unconditional. But if you leave him because he gained weight and he eventually loses that weight will you regret it?
If you date someone new will your relationship be in jeopardy if they stop being as attractive? And as you get older, and less attractive would you expect your relationship to weaken? Life is hard, and long.
Your relationship needs to have something deeper and stronger than looks to survive the test of time, or you wont have any partner at all. Otherwise you can expect to have nothing but superficial relationships where one of you is always ready to walk away if things arent perfect.
It all depends on what you want and where you see yourself. I’m not even saying you have to stay with your bf. Just some things to consider for any relationship you may have going forward.
I will say, if you leave him now let him be. Don’t come crawling back when he’s attractive enough for you.