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Tuesday, September 27, 2022


I graduated from uni during peak Covid & it was hard to get a job so I settled for a traineeship.


They offered me a contract position afterwards which I’m thankful for but now that I’m married and saving up for our home, I’m looking for a new job with more salary before my contract ends. (This process has also taken a toll on me)

I’m not earning much, & my husband and I are also currently renting a place. I contribute significantly less than him for our place but still 1/5 of my salary goes to rent. and I also have my study loan to pay. on top of the other bills like phone, subscriptions and groceries (altho my husband usually pays for that unless it’s me shopping on my own)

We also currently stay in Jurong while my family stays in Pasir ris so every weekend we travel sometimes via grab/hitch/train as that’s what my mum insisted.

If i don’t visit that week she will start her drama of “you don’t care about me etc etc” so to avoid that we just put aside one day every weekend to spend time with her.


but bcos she stays home everyday whenever we visit, she wants to go out here and there and have dinner outside with us and my siblings.

My siblings are younger, one is still in school and another one just started working with a small salary. So you guessed it, everytime we go out and have these dinners I usually pay the most if not for all of it.

My husband helps sometimes but I feel guilty as this is for my family and he pays for everything else in our home that i will usually just say it’s okay.

anyway i’m sharing all this so that there’s an idea of where my money goes monthly. i used to give my mum money previously when i was not married maybe around $400 a month.

it started reducing abit bcos i was paying for my own wedding. then now that i live some place else and have all these expenses i told her that i’ll give her money when i can but if she ever needs she can just ask. i told her also since i’m paying for these weekly outings i can’t afford to give her money monthly on top of that.


but here’s the take, she got angry. and say that i shouldn’t think of giving her money as a burden and should give her money for blessings.

i tried explaining to her and hope she will understand but the worst of it all is she can even complain when i give her $200 and say it’s too little. i’m really struggling here i barely have enough savings. how do i make her understand? she’s also going thru a divorce and still refuse to look for a job she can do. instead she wants to still stay at home and do nothing and expect us to give her money. am i wrong here?

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