I regret having a family.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my family and will do everything I can to be a good mom and wife. But if I had known the actual details of how hard this life would be, I would have chosen differently.
Growing up, it’s made to seem like that’s just the way of life and that children are tough but worth it. Nobody talked about the realities of pregnancy completely changing your body forever.
Or the fact that your wants and desires no longer matter, because you’re family comes first.
Or the fact that you get judged and watched for every action you and your children make.
Society jokes about the super mom and how clueless Dad is, but the reality is that Mom had to reinvent herself to become supermom.
I had dreams that now have to wait until the kids are old enough to pursue. I just feel like I’m waiting to live and enjoy my life year after year and it feels like I’ll never get to.
I can’t get sick or injured without the whole entire family falling apart and spiralling into chaos.
My husband can’t handle the pressure of caring for the kids and home and starts lashing out when this happens.
It gets so bad sometimes that I wish I would die just to get away. But then I know my family would suffer and I’m afraid of my husband being alone to raise our children.
So yeah, I’m stuck and feeling guilty for even feeling this way.
Netizens’ comments
Hmmm this made me think about how much the internet has really changed how young people must view parenting.
I am gen X, and the only source I had about parenting, in my teens and twenties, were people I knew, and my own parents of course. I had zero idea how hard parenting would be because no one told me and I had no internet to use to search for other parents.
When I had my first kid, it hit me like a truck. The constant never ending work. I loved my kids, absolutely I did, but overnight, my life disappeared and was replaced by one I had no idea was coming.
Now every young woman can easily see how hard parenting is. No wonder many don’t enthusiastically embrace it like they used to. No wonder birth rates are falling with educated women.
I will say this, as hard as it was, I was fortunate to have a husband and family that helped me out. I can’t imagine doing it with no support at all.
When my first child was 6 weeks old, I took a class at a local university and had to leave my daughter with my husband for 4 hours a week alone. It was awful for him at first because she would just scream, but gradually, he got better at calming her and more confident. He needed the opportunity to become a competent parent. A lot of guys don’t have the socialization or confidence that they can do it, but they can. He needs to step up, and that means you need to push him a little to do it.
Book a hotel room and just leave for a few nights. He will figure it out, I promise.