How to stop hating my husband and being frustrated when I see him
Need advice and console please!
Me and my husband were together for 5 years before we got married. And throughout our dating phase, I know and understand that he has a lot of bad habits (i.e. picking his nose while driving and going straight to bed after a whole day outside, not showering). These are the habit that I can take it.
We were like any normal couple that will update one another, on what we are doing, and if we have any plans that weekend or if any friends meeting us for a beer session etc. I would say he is very generous because most of the time he is paying for our outings food wise and drinking sessions. But what I am paranoid was most of the time is someone planning for us or im the one planning the outing, he will definitely not initial the outings/meetings. And he did not plan for our family meeting and rather sleep the weekend away or play games at home.
But after we got married, most of the things I am the one paying (I have to buy him dinner although he can buy it while on the way home), we cut down our drinking sessions anyway, and because of his stupidity in trusting friend to invest in the business, he took a loan and fail the business, now we are suffering because he has repayment, and contribute less to our family, although I told him not to do the business.
And we had a baby shortly after our marriage. He stopped texting me on a daily basis (we are both working so we need to discuss dinner plans etc I assume), I can understand because we are almost together day in and day out other than working hours. But when I am out with my baby the whole day or working, he is not worried or will never text me at all. And worst of all, when I call him he does not answer at all. Before you come to conclusion that he is cheating, he is not, because he always spends time sleeping, and playing Nintendo Switch (which annoys me as well). And other than helping our baby with the wet diapers when she was born at the hospital, he did not lay a finger on diaper change at all now that our baby is 1 year old, most of the baby business is settled by me or his mother.
Can you imagine the frustration, when we head home, I have to settle the baby while he instantly lies down on the bed to play games or to scroll his phone. I constantly have the thinking that he seems like living in his own world, and the rest of the things do not matter to him, I question myself, if he is like that, why do he even agree on getting married? I am regretting a lot about the marriage, but not regretting having baby because I really love my baby alot.
He does not plan our future. And I am frustrated that he thinks he is the king and I have to serve him (i.e. I bring food home for him from my parent’s place, after finishing the food, he will sit on the sofa waiting for me to clear the containers for him). I got a long list of things to rant about, but I just want to get myself to hate him less and be more sweet to him, although he try to have some changes, but it was back to square one in 2 to 3 days and I can feel like im on his nerve recently too, because I cant stand him and constantly rant my anger on him.