I have looks money and power and I married for looks, money and power!
Somehow the thought of him cheating never did cross my mind once. And somehow I never did once feel like going outside of my marriage (even though it is very easy for me to do so with what I have).
It’s not for me to say my husband is objectively handsome, but he is subjectively pleasant to look at. I am very attracted to him. He is losing hair and growing a belly from aging but when I look at him my heart still swells. If anything the signs of aging is an urgent reminder I must cherish him more as we have less and less days together. I love it when he laughs. It really warms my heart and I enjoy making him laugh. I guess his happiness is important to me. When he is happy somehow I cannot help but feel happy too.
It’s not for me to say if he is objectively rich. But I can for a fact see he spends within his means. He sets aside some savings for the rainy days. He makes career plans. He manages his finances well. He is practical. Someone dependable I can work with to build a future together and overcome hardships and challenges with in life. And us having a roof over the head, stable jobs with good prospects and secured future for kids is very attractice. Well at least it gives me the headspace and bandwidth to relax and feel attractive.
He is strong. Don’t get me wrong, he does not have the body of a gym rat but he exercises. Eats well. Keeps his mind sharp, importantly. His real strength though is his ability to lift people around him up. He brings out the best in people. Identifies potentials and synergises them to make magic happen.
I guess it’s how genuinely happy I am in my own marriage. I can feel his love and devotion everyday (like how he never fails to kiss me good morning before going to work for 7 years and says I love you before bed every night). How attentive he is to my every need.
Fortunately and unfortunately for him, I am super competitive. So I make it a personal mission to be better than him in everything we do, including loving him. And because I give my 10000% it’s hard for me to imagine how anyone can do better.
One of the things I remember most was how we were both holding the door for each other waiting on the other. And that dynamic continued on. How we always have each other in our contemplation.
The devotion and selfless love are what allowed us to have deep conversations and a healthy life in bed. During our relationship and the first 3 years of our marriage, we got intimate daily and sometimes twice a day I had to Google if that’s normal. Now that we are both older and with kids, we get intimate once every few days (which I think is more normal haha).
I must say, there are many affair-themed confessions and reading them did rattle me a little and made me begin to wonder if my perfect marriage is maybe not so perfect.
Having thought about it, I write this to spread some positivity and maybe share how important it is to have “love” in a marriage. When there isn’t love, a lot if petty things can take center stage very easily especially with kids. And without love, people are motivated by selfish and not selfless reasons in most situations leading to the total breakdown of a relationship. Love, even if not present at first is something that can be cultivated. It starts with a selfless act that is then reciprocated by a selfless act by the other. Just as a relationship or a marriage can be driven to the ground, it can be built up.
Just my 2 cents.