I (31F) feel genuine rage towards my immigrant parents sometimes (55M, F)
I’d like the perspective of children of immigrants and how they cope with this. Or those with technologically inept parents.
Since childhood, I’ve been helping my parents with every. Single. Thing. Paperwork? I fill it out. Anything technology related? I do it. Doctor’s appointments, court, licensing, I’m there as a translator.
I can explain how to do something a million times but it does not click with them and I end up having to do it for them. I have to screen texts and emails lest they fall prey to scammers.
I had a breakdown finding out I have to redo a long bureaucratic process for them because they filled out a form wrong. But if I don’t do it for them, who will? I get anxiety now when they even ask me to proof read a form for them—what if I miss something? What if I do it wrong?
I’ve been at this since I was old enough to read. Im so stressed and anxious. Why am I so anxious? What does everyone else feel when having to act as your parent’s personal assistant?
How can I get them to be more self-sufficient? When they do things themselves, they mess up often due to the language barrier.
Am I ungrateful?? I think I should just suck it up and help them but for some reason I get so anxious about it. And then get so angry when I tell them how to do things and they do it all wrongs, forcing me to fix their mistakes.
I’m trying to have a life of my own but I’m always knee-deep in their problems. They’re the type who always need to be doing something, they can’t sit idle, so they’ve got their fingers in a lot of pies. So there’s always something wrong and they always need help.